Letter from Eliza Nicholson, 23 April 1843

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believe one word he says, he has again and again said in the public meetings that he had never thought of or spoken ought against My Charactor— but I now find that Canker was in his Heart, and did and will no doubt distribute the Dregs wherever he goes, he by Insinuation Made Sister [Caroline Youngs] Adams & Sister German <​believe​> that I was a Notoriously bad Charactor before I joined the Church, their Husbands also and Brother German, our Priesiding Elder Hass [Peter Hess] were all of the same impression: I now do not Wonder why Set so many traps to cut me off or why he treated my letter to him, with Contemt; he was under the Influence of Mallicies [malicious] lies, and I now forgive him; I should suppose a disserning <​man​> could soon ascertain when in female company wheter their Conduct was Chaste or not & by that judge. Elder , and President have been at my house some <​day days​> did they discover any thing amiss, and many others I could name—— I am not angry even now but my feeling are wounded to the Soul, I consider My Charactor Sacred with my Virtue and I defy man to prove to the Contrary or God to reveal it; for he never tels falshoods Man may lie and injure a defensely [defenseless?] Widow but they must suffer the torments of Hell for it;— it is worse than Murder; and God has said the Murderer Shal not be forgiven: &c. where Shal I loock for redress I can imagine none <​in this world​>— I have no doubt but there is many under the Same impressions those Brothers & Sisters were, and will continue to injure my reputation every where he goes, if it was only myself I would try to be more reconciled but that my Children must be loocked upon in derision too, and painted at with Scorn, is more then I can bear Why does this wonderful Smart man as he think himself act thus he says because I wrote a scandalous letter to to endeaver to injure him, and that I would talk to the elders as they passed through he judged me by himself he knew he was I mean and thought of Coarse I was he must think the Elders have very weak minds that they can all be influenced by the Whims & storias [stories] of strange Women [p. [2]]
believe one word he says, he has again and again said in the public meetings that he had never thought or spoken ought against My Charactor— but I now find that Canker was in his Heart, and did and will no doubt distribute the Dregs wherever he goes, he by Insinuation Made Sister [Caroline Youngs] Adams & Sister German believe that I was a Notoriously bad Charactor before I joined the Church, their Husbands also and Brother German, our Priesiding Elder Hass [Peter Hess] were all of the same impression: I now do not Wonder why Set so many traps to cut me off or why he treated my letter to him, with Contemt; he was under the Influence of Mallicies [malicious] lies, and I now forgive him; I should suppose a disserning man could soon ascertain when in female company wheter their Conduct was Chaste or not & by that judge. Elder , and President have been at my house some days did they discover any thing amiss, and many others I could name—— I am not angry even now but my feeling are wounded to the Soul, I consider My Charactor Sacred with my Virtue and I defy man to prove to the Contrary or God to reveal it; for he never tels falshoods Man may lie and injure a defensely [defenseless] Widow but they must suffer the torments of Hell for it;— it is worse than Murder; and God has said the Murderer Shal not be forgiven: &c. where Shal I loock for redress I can imagine none in this world— I have no doubt but there is many under the Same impressions those Brothers & Sisters were, and will continue to injure my reputation every where he goes, if it was only myself I would try to be more reconciled but that my Children must be loocked upon in derision too, and painted at with Scorn, is more then I can bear Why does this wonderful Smart man as he think himself act thus he says because I wrote a scandalous letter to to endeaver to injure him, and that I would talk to the elders as they passed through he judged me by himself he knew he was mean and thought of Coarse I was he must think the Elders have very weak minds that they can all be influenced by the Whims & storias [stories] of strange Women [p. [2]]
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